It hurts .

Okay . So like I really have the need to say something . No one would really understand . I was afraid to tell my bestfriends about this because they might think I'm acting stupid of just plain foolish . Its like this :

Mum has been sick lately . Her legs are swollen during the night time sometimes and she gets tired very easily . I'm worried as heck . Mum keeps saying about WHAT IF's . And I think you know what she's talking about . I cry so hard every time she brings it up . She's been stressed about her loan not being approved by the bank , my grandma is sick too , my sister not coming home and the list goes on and on . I'm scared of losing my mum . I pray every single night that she'd be okay . My mum doesnt need anymore shit after all these years . For so many years , she was hurt , scarred , pushed down . When is she ever going to be given a break ? When is she going to get a day of rest ? When is she going to be happy ? When will all those problems leave her the fuck alone ? People picking on her like its fun . She's the most nicest woman I have ever met . And I'm lucky as fuck to have her as my mum . I love her . God , I beg of you , please heal her so that she'll be healthy again . I need her . My sister is not making anything better . She knows my mum is sick , and she still wont come home as often . I know she works in Kepong . Is a two hour drive home just too much just to see your mum ? My mum woke up everyday of her life at 4am when she was younger , brought her to swimming practices , WAITED for her to finish which would take HOURS . I just wish my sister would leave that douche of a boyfriend of hers and realize , she needs to do whats best for her . My family is fading . So dont make it worse .

I am trying my best to make my mum happy as possible . Help around the house , get her medicine .

I love you Mum . Please be okay .