Circles . Repeat .

Finally a little time of my own in silence . Its so hard to find some space for ones self with all thats going on . I'm home from my stay with the father in Genting . I finally got the Nikes I needed for my exercise plan . Thank you father . I've been rather confused lately with things . People dodging at me with comments about my own faults , assumptions and other things that I really don't need to hear about . I wish everyone would just let it slide or something . I'm human too . I feel like I'm running in circles . Round and round same old situation . The circle gets bigger and bigger and I grow even more tired every single time . I have spent many sleepless nights thinking of a solution but I keep failing to find the perfect one . Am I even allowed to make so many mistakes ? I feel guilty towards the ones that care for me . I feel stupid for caring for those that don't give a shit about me . Guilt guilt guilt . Not to mention my stupidity and greed . I can't believe I have done those things . I swore to myself that I would never do something like that but in the end , I did .

Guilt , guilt and much more guilt .