That's how it really is .

I wish I could stop lying to myself , saying everything WILL turn out okay and that everything IS okay . I need to stop telling myself that someone out there actually gives a fuck about me , when the truth is , no one really gives a fuck . Is that why some people are so selfish ? Is it a 'Why should I give a fuck when they dont' kind of situation ? Because I don't really know . In my mind , I've been going round and round trying to figure out what is the right thing to do at the moment . I wish I could stop giving in and caring for other people . I'm so tired of being stepped on . I'm starting to question myself . Why am I the one doing all the waiting ? Honestly , I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally . People say , 'You should talk about it to somebody . Its not good for your health .' Dyou think that I WANT to bottle it all up ? Dyou really think I want to be like this ? THIS is because no one cares enough to just listen to me for a change . They'd rather talk about themselves and what their problems are . Either that or they just don't understand .

Bottom line ,

I don't WANT to be like this but I HAVE to .