Dont go chasing waterfalls .

I think theres something wrong with me . My feelings towards certain males are unstable or even uncertain . It pops up out of no where and the next thing you know , it fades away . Im not sure why Im being like this . Im trying to get back at it again ? Maybe I do , Maybe I dont . Im not so sure . I am kinda tired from all that shit from last year . But I have to admit , I have this certain feeling of fondness towards my bestfriends classmate or my bestfriends friend . Which ever you please . I am definitely not feeling comfortable with this feeling at the moment . Because of the wary thoughts of my one day crashing down , or even realizing I am a lesbian . Im afraid . WHATS WRONG WITH ME . Ohmygod . Nice guys here and there . Bad ass guys wall to wall . Give me a chance to breathe will you ? Okay . These days , everything is so cramped up in my mind . I dont know how to think straight anymore . It annoys me . Im restless . Im tired . I crave the softness of my pillow . Everything is so fucked up . Honestly . I dont really need love . I dont . After what I've been through last year ? Maybe I shouldnt try love anymore . There are too many assholes watching my every move . Whats the point of trying once more ? Everything would end badly anyway . So why bother ?

Truth is , I bother because deep down , I kinda do need it .