Me , Being Alone .

I cant remember the last time I was actually happy . Like GENUINELY HAPPY . Its so weird about me is that , When Im in school , I all happy faced , Even when I see bitches , Im happy . But then when Im home alone , Not a sound to be heard , I would sit , And blankly and start to think . Only then , The sadness comes back . What can I do ? To make these thoughts of sadness go away ? How much would I give just to not think of you ? I would like to be rid of you .